The Ache of Ageing
I miss my animals that have past. I miss my beloved grandparents who have all passed away. I miss my friends who don't miss me and the ones who do. I miss my young slim body. I miss my niece and nephew that I can't see as often as I'd like. I miss my dad even though I will not tell him. I miss the teachers who I felt connected to. I miss my fiance even as he sleeps next to me. I, too, miss the woman we both thought I was. I miss my youthful energy. I miss peaceful sleep. I miss the mountains. I miss the streams. I miss the way life was in every sweet memory that I have of my life being lived easily. I miss you, whoever ends up reading this. I miss whatever warm interaction we had. I hope heaven encompasses all of the sweet memories this life will end up being. I try to cherish every moment of this life which exhausts me, so you'll find me sleeping away a lot of my days. You see, I was told you store the most information and memories when you rest. So, soon I'll be dozing off and my mind will slip into the arms of my sweet grandparents. I will soon slip away into the comical adventures me and the dogs I loved experienced together on the farm and all throughout my neighborhood in the city. I will soon slip away to the heartwarming talks and nights filled with dancing and laughter with friends of old and new. I will soon slip away to the memory of being undeniably pretty and how bright my smile was, knowing that my body could handle anything I wanted to do that day. My eyes will rest and sink into the blissful moments I held my niece and nephew as I danced with them in my arms to the smooth rhythms of reggae. My mind will soon slip away to the memory of laying on my dads lap and watching the Crocodile Hunter when I couldn't rest as a child. Soon, my mind will slip away to the tender memories my love and I shared bound in easy intimacy as new lovers. My breathing will soon slow as I remember how sweet my life has been. And then one day, my mind will slip away to not return. My eyes will never reopen. My mind will fade away with all its treasures. My breathing will simply stop. This is why I miss everything so fearfully. This, and every life is all but a sweet sweet memory.
Written by the girl who is awake at midnight crying for all the reasons a human should cry.
